Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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