after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Randomize
