why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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