I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
