what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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