Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
