the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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