I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
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