I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize