You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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