All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We have so much sex to catch up on
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
