Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
