): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize