Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
