when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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