I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
