A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
