Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
