I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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