i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
