My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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