we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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