Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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