omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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