Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
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