How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
