Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
