IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
