you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.