Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So I just went to clothing optional bar
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
