dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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