the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
