i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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