Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize