Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
