I'm lost and stupid without you.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Randomize