After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
