I got chris browned last night
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
