stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
