I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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