I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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