You really coming over, don't trick.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
