and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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