Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
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she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
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Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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