you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
