we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
