What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
