The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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