In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I am full of burrito and curiosity
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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