I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
