conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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