i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
