Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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