Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
