think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
