what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
