Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
two words...techno handjob
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
