But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
