I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
