My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
