Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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