We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
