yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
