Heybabeimwearingurpanties
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
